Birthday celebrations

I've not written anything in my blog for a long time now. I went out on Friday night because it was the keeper's birthday. The Keeper went out with lots of her friends and some of them had birthday celebrations as well. A birthday is defined in the dictionary as 'A type of suit, most pleasing when worn by hot chicks'. I'm a little confused by this - perhaps its got something to do with London fashion week.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=birthday

I don't know when my birthday is. This makes me sad.

I have a new friend. I met him tonight. He has a shiny head so the picture did not come out brilliantly but it is very comfortable for sitting on. His name is Len. I think its short for Lennie. Lennie is a character from The Simpsons and thats a cartoon show that doesn't have any Octopii in. Len is from South Africa. Thats a country thats quite far away. I hope he didn't have to walk.

Anyway, I learned about something called Guinness. Aparantly it turns your do-do black. This is not a problem for me. Im an Octopus and know all about black emanations. We specialise in it, you know.

I also learned what happens if you have too much Guinness and it involves walking to a special room where you spend a lot of time looking at your feet.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=guinness

Anyhoo, I also found out that Im a fantastic kisser. It seems that people couldn't take their lips (or other parts) off me...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snogging